I was sitting down and thinking to myself that I was feeling quite alive today.

And I thought of the feeling I shared with Creepy John about feeling marginalized.

And I thought,  I feel marginalized now too. Marginalized with the sounds of my thoughts.

But then I thought, no, I feel quite centralized by being so marginalized.

And I imagine that this is always how my brain will work. I view dichotomies and oppositions in synthesis with punctuated singularity existing simultaneously.

So that’s that.

Last night was too much fun. Saw lots of people out. Gave a lot of hugs. Drank a lot of dranky-dranks.

Over the holiday breaks I want to read some Ayn, Foucault, and The Plague. Also I want to re-read The Death of Ivan Ilyich because it is sick. Tolstoy, my homeboy. 

So here’s an activity for you to do if you’re bored. Imagine that you are dead and that you are someone else writing your own wikipedia page. I was reading Foucault’s wiki page and just thinking to myself about how fucking awesome his life was. Depression and riots and meeting people and talking to people and writing philosophical marvels. I’m not going to say I’m jealous yet because I’m still 21 and I have some time.

But then that makes me think about what my wiki page would look like just as a synopsis of my life up until now.

Has it been everything it could have been? Yes.

I’m pretty excited to be where I am now. 

I showed Dr. Alley my chart on the problem of other minds/solipsism/post positivistic approach to knowledge and the knower that I’ve incorporated Rosaldo, Foucault, and Hegel into. She was just like… why are you doing this for your other class, did you have to? And I say, “No, I’m just studying what interests me.”

So Rosaldo’s positioned subject + Hegel’s dialectic + Foucault’s discourse = No absolute truth and the more something is studied the less you know about it.

I mean yes, people have heard “The more you know the less you know.”

But I’m telling you this is a huge detailed flow chart of that cliche phrase with cited philosophical elements.

Today was just so good to me.

Perhaps I’ll do my independent study more along these lines? 

Question everything.

-Why?

Yes. Don’t just simply question everything. Question why you must question everything.

I just feel so goddamn alive today.

I don’t understand how these things depress people. Metaphysics, reality, the solipsism. They all just make me feel closer to something real. Even if the answer is the absence of reality, it’s so much better than disillusionment. 

Krtic took a picture of me working on my theory when I didn’t know it. I need to find my old theory flow charts and compare them or maybe integrate them into one work.

Oh but I want that picture.

ALSO

Today I found out that Mien Kampf is banned in Germany!? And people wonder why neo-nazism is coming back!? FOUCAULTIAN DISCOURSE.

That is so terribly interesting, I feel like a dog given a bone the size of a car that I get to happily chew on for the rest of my life.

(via stephenmichael)